A practical guide to what you’ll experience—and how different approaches shape the process
Article authored by the ISPC
Many people consider counselling but hesitate because they don’t know what to expect. Will they be told what to do? Will they have to relive painful memories? The reality is more grounded: a counselling session is a confidential, respectful conversation focused on your thoughts, feelings, and goals.
“Therapy isn’t about being fixed. It’s about being heard—and learning to listen to yourself.”
Understanding both the structure of a session and the different types of counselling available can help you choose an approach that truly fits your needs.
Before the First Session: What to Prepare
You don’t need notes, a diagnosis, or a “big enough” problem. Just bring yourself. Some counsellors send a short form beforehand covering basic details and what’s brought you to therapy—but there’s no right or wrong way to answer.
It’s normal to feel unsure. Many first-time clients worry they won’t know what to say. Remember: counselling isn’t for crises alone. It’s for anyone seeking clarity, better coping strategies, or support through life’s pressures.
The First Session: Building Trust and Direction
Your initial meeting focuses on connection and context. The counsellor will explain confidentiality (including legal limits), session length, and their general approach. Then, they’ll ask open questions like:
- “What’s been troubling you lately?”
- “What would you like to be different?”
- “How have you been managing so far?”
This isn’t an interview—it’s a chance to share at your own pace. You might talk about recent stress, long-standing patterns, or even your doubts about therapy itself. All of it matters.
Equally important: this session lets you decide if you feel comfortable working with this person. A strong therapeutic relationship is built on trust, not authority. If something feels off, you’re free to look elsewhere.
Ongoing Sessions: How the Work Progresses
Regular sessions (usually weekly, 50 minutes) follow a natural flow:
- Check-in: Share what’s happened since your last meeting.
- Exploration: Discuss thoughts, feelings, or situations with gentle guidance.
- Reflection: Notice patterns, beliefs (“I always mess up”), or reactions that no longer serve you.
- Closing: Summarise insights to carry forward.
You won’t receive direct advice like “Quit your job” or “Confront your partner.” Instead, the counsellor helps you weigh options, clarify values, and trust your own judgment.
Silence is welcome. Not knowing what to say is normal. Therapy isn’t performance—it’s process.
Different Types of Counselling: Which Approach Is Right for You?
Not all counselling is the same. Therapists often specialise in specific models, each with its own philosophy and methods. Here are four widely used approaches:
1. Person-Centred Counselling
Developed by Carl Rogers, this approach trusts that you hold the answers within yourself. The counsellor offers empathy, unconditional positive regard, and genuine presence—creating a safe space for you to explore without judgment. There’s no agenda, no techniques, just deep listening. Ideal if you value autonomy and want to lead the direction of sessions.
2. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
CBT focuses on the link between thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. It’s structured, goal-oriented, and often short-term. You’ll learn to identify unhelpful thinking patterns (“I’m a failure”) and replace them with more balanced ones, while also practising new behaviours (e.g., facing avoided situations). Best suited for those wanting practical tools for anxiety, low mood, or stress.
3. Psychodynamic Counselling
This approach explores how past experiences—especially early relationships—shape current emotions and behaviour. Through reflection on recurring patterns, dreams, or slips of speech, you gain insight into unconscious influences. Sessions are less structured and often longer-term. Helpful if you sense deeper roots behind your struggles and want to understand why you react as you do.
4. Integrative Counselling
Integrative therapists blend elements from multiple approaches, tailoring the work to your unique needs. One week might involve CBT-style thought records; another might use person-centred reflection or psychodynamic exploration. Flexibility is the hallmark. This is ideal if you’re unsure which method suits you—or if your situation doesn’t fit neatly into one category.
When choosing a counsellor, ask: “What’s your main approach?” and “How do you adapt it to individual clients?” The best fit aligns with your personality, goals, and comfort level—not just theory.
How Long Does Counselling Last?
This varies widely. Some people find relief in 6–8 sessions, especially when working on a specific issue like decision-making or adjusting to change. Others benefit from longer-term support (several months or more) when addressing deep-seated patterns or complex histories.
You’re always in control. Regular reviews ensure the work stays relevant to your goals. And if you feel ready to stop—even if the counsellor thinks you could continue—you have the right to end sessions.
What If I Don’t Know What to Say?
Silence is allowed—and often useful. Many powerful moments in counselling happen in quiet reflection, not constant talking. Your counsellor won’t rush to fill every pause. They understand that processing takes time.
If you’re stuck, they might gently offer prompts:
- “What’s coming up for you right now?”
- “Where do you feel that in your body?”
- “What’s the hardest part to put into words?”
And if you spend a whole session saying, “I don’t know,” that’s still valuable. Uncertainty is often the starting point of real discovery.
Will I Have to Talk About My Childhood?
Not necessarily. While some approaches explore early experiences to understand present-day patterns, others focus entirely on the here and now—such as managing anxiety or improving communication.
Your counsellor should explain their method and adapt to your preferences. If you’d rather not delve into the past right now, you can say so. Good therapy meets you where you are, not where someone assumes you “should” be.
The Real Goal: Empowerment, Not Dependence
Contrary to myth, counselling doesn’t make you reliant on your therapist. Its true purpose is the opposite: to equip you with self-awareness, emotional tools, and confidence in your own resilience.
Many clients report not just symptom relief, but greater clarity in relationships, work, and daily choices. They sleep better. They set boundaries. They respond rather than react.
That’s the power of a space where you’re truly listened to—not to be changed, but to uncover who you already are beneath the noise.
If you’ve been wondering whether counselling is right for you, consider this: the only way to know is to try one session. No grand declarations. No lifelong commitment. Just a conversation—with someone trained to help you find your own answers.
Further Resources for ISPC Members:
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Kindest Regards
ISPC Team
